It's Natural
by Amazon Life
Summary: Series of unrelated Camteen drabbles written for nature-related prompts. Several genres. Each chapter will be named after the respective prompt word. Feel free to suggest new prompts following the nature theme!
1. Rain

I used to hate rainy days. I couldn't go jogging without coming back completely soaked and catching a cold, the bars were way emptier than usual, nothing seemed to go right.

Staying indoors was also unpleasant. I would quickly grow impatient and, I admit, lonely. I'd end up drinking alone and staying in bed all day, which made me feel worthless.

Well, it's not _that_ much different now: I still spend all day in bed when it rains. But I don't drink anymore, except for an occasional glass of wine, and I'm never alone when I do that.

I'm also not lonely, either. And lying down doens't makeme feel impatient or worthless; it makes me feel warm, cozy and loved.


	2. Sunshine

I, Allison Cameron, have a date with a woman, Tonight, when my shift ends, I'm going out for dinner and drinks with Remy Hadley.

Yes, my taller, leaner, prettier, bisexual replacement. Although I'm not sure I should be stressing 'bisexual'. After all, I'm going on a date with a woman.

I have managed to spend all my teenage years, all my college years, without succumbing to that kind of 'experiment', even though I wanted to.

Now, as I'm nearing my thirties, I suddenly fins myself scheduling a date with a woman.

I should be anxious, nervous, terrified, with butterflies flying all around my stomach. But I'm not.

I'm walking on sunshine.


	3. Snow

She takes me out to the yard right after the first heavy snowfall of the winter. It's hard to push my wheelchair on the snow-covered ground, but she uses all her strength and manages to get me a few feet away from the house.

She grabs a little of the white substance and drops it gently onto my mittened awaiting palms, helping me to mold it into a ball. Then she runs, makes a ball of her own and throws at me.

It falls far from the target, and I wonder if she's done it on purpose, so i won't feel bad when mine doesn't even reach her. I have no strength left in my arms, except for when they jerk on their own volition. Still, I throw my ball, and watch it fall not very far from my feet.

Seeing my uneasiness, she changes the game, and we're now building a snowman. She lets me help her, even though I ruin it. Then she sits on my lap and admires our work, as she traces her fingers up and down my arms.

She turns around and kissed me. And, for a few seconds, I forget this might be the last snowfall I see.


	4. Clouds

I'm at a bar, having come straight from my lawyer's office. I've just signed the papers that officialize my divorce. I'm leaving Princeton in the morning, and don't ever expect to come back. I think I deserve a few drinks.

So I go and order one after the other. There's this brunette girl who send me a few now and then as well. She looks oddly familiar, but I'm drunk and I'm not thinking straight and I can't remember where the hell I know her from.

She walks up to me, and I know I should say something, but I can't find the words. And I know I shouldn't, and I feel some part of my brain screaming for me to stop, but the alcohol is clouding my judgment, and my body doesn't want to stop.

So I lean forward and kiss her.


	5. Hurricane

This girl's a complete mess. She thinks no one sees her, but I know she arrives here drunk every morning, and rushes to the clinic to get IV fluids.

It was also me who was here to receive her party girl of the night when she had a seizure. It'll probably be me who'll receive her when she suffers an accident. Any kind of accident. Because, self-destructing like that, she certainly will.

She destructs herself and everyone around her. She doesn't even let people get too close to her, because she knows she'll bring them down.

This girl's a hurricane. And she's everything I'd like to be, if I wasn't too busy being the good girl to deal with my own pain that way.


	6. Spring

Being with her is like being born again. It's like the flowers that appear after the snow has melted, after being buried beneath the hardness of winter for so long.

Being with her is like having life in me once again, when I didn't even remember how being alive felt anymore. It's like everything inside of me has suddenly decided to awaken and jump and sing in joy. It's like the birds that leave their nests for the first time in their lives and sigh contently under the warmth of the sun.

And I don't care that it's still dark and cold outside; in my heart, spring has already started.


	7. Fall

Her clothes fall to the floor one piece at a time, as she slowly undresses before me. I was afraid she'd feel awkward, ashamed, because it's the very first time she lets me see her clotheless.

But she doesn't. She does it naturally, with the same grace with which a tree lets its leaves fall down when autumn comes. And, just like a tree, she might be extremely beautiful all dressed up, but there's something incredibly exquisite about her naked body.

It makes me want to kiss every inch of her, feel her skin against mine, smell her hair and hear her moan under my touch. After all, clothes aren't all that falls for her.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

These were the ones I had ready to post so far. But if you're creative and suggest me new nature-related prompts, I'll gladly write drabbles for them to continue this. :D


	8. Evergreen

This drabble and the next one are dedicated to Vanamo. They were written for two of the prompts she gave me. I don't either of them are what she expected them to be when she suggested said prompts. LOL

* * *

It was a lazy Sunday afternoon. Remy and Allison were sprawled on their living room couch, one on either side, two pairs of legs tangled at the center. While the brunette watched 'Kingdom of Heaven' for the hundredth time, the blonde busied herself with crosswords.

"Hey, Rems…"

"Huh…", Thirteen answered barely audibly, not taking her eyes of her attention away from the screen.

"What's a plant that never loses its leaves, not even during winter, with 9 letters?"

"Oh, Eva Green…", the brunette sighed dreamily.

"Evergreen, of course! Thanks, baby, you're a genius. Now stop staring at that woman's boobs! Geez, now I see why you like this movie so much. You perv!"


	9. Alligator

"I need to find a nickname for you."

"A nickname?"

"Yeah, something that only I call you by."

"You call me 'Al'. That's a nickname, as far as I know."

"Yeah, but I bet plenty of people have called you that already. Ok, let me think… Al… Allie… Oh, I got it!"

"Oh, God. DO I even want to know?"

"Of course you do, it's genius! Allie… gator!"

"What?!"

"Alligator!"

"Ouch, Allison! That hurt! What the hell did you bite me for?"

"I'm an alligator, remember? You said so yourself. And alligators… bite. You should be glad I didn't take a piece off of your arm."

"I guess I'll have to think of a new nickname."


	10. Air

Thanks to Vanamo again for suggesting this prompt and the next one. :)

I'm standing next to the nurse's station signing some charts when I feel it: that slight change in the air current behind me that lets me know someone is approaching. I don't turn around, though. The day has been incredibly long, and all I don't need as I'm about to head home is an interruption.

But then I feel that tingly sensation of a body being pressed to mine, and know exactly who it is. Her hot breath close to my ear makes a shiver run down my spine, as she whispers a simple 'Hey...' in that husky voice of hers that I love.

And I thank whatever god there might be for _her_ interruption.


	11. Saltwater

I crumble the paper in my hand, throw it in the nearest trash bin and get up. I walk to the elevator and out of it as fast as I can, and soon I'm in the ER.

Running my eyes around the place, I quickly find the woman I have been blatantly flirting with for the past three weeks, and with whom I still haven't had the courage to try anything, in spite of her being clearly open to it.

I walk to her and, without saying a thing, grab her arm and pull her to the nearest exam room. Seeing the look on my face, she knows better than to question or protest. Closing the door behind us, I shove her against the wall, pressing my body against hers and attacking her lips with mine.

She whimpers, I'm not sure if in pleasure or pain. I don't care. I need to feel her, to taste her. But what I taste instead is saltwater. And that's when I realize I'm crying.


	12. Heatwave

Thanks to Pink Jover for the prompt idea! :)

Even without looking directly at her, I can feel her checking me out. Like, thoroughly checking me out. In a way that I don't think any man has stared at my body before. I'm not exactly sure whether I should be flattered, because she obviously thinks I'm nice enough to look at, or annoyed at her blatant audacity.

What I am, instead, is self-conscious. There's no way you can act naturally when you know someone's watching. So I catch myself thinking before every move I make. And, most embarrassingly, I become completely aware of the fact I'm blushing. I'm not looking at myself in any mirrors, but the heat on my cheeks gives me certainty enough.

Still without looking at her, I know she's coming closer. I can sense her presence, and know how close she is by the fact that the heat is now descending from my face, spreading across my neck, chest, and then stomach, and even lower. My whole body seems to be on fire are she stops just a few inches away from me.

I finally look at her and mirror her smile. No, I'm not annoyed at all.


	13. Mud

Again, thank you Pink Jover for this prompt and the next one! :D

I can't stand being close to her. I can't stand looking at her. I can't stand hearing people talk about her, about how sweet and kind and caring and compassionate she is. It makes me feel dirty.

Because I may, on occasions, be somewhat compassionate. And, if a miracle happens, I might even appear to be caring. But I will never, ever be able to be sweet, and no one would ever say I'm kind. I would like to, if I could. But it's just not in me.

So I close my eyes and ears, and avoid her presence and ignore all thoughts of her. Maybe, if I do it often enough, I'll be able to ignore the mud that I feel covering me, the shame for not being that good. Maybe, if I keep doing that, I'll be able to forget that, more than anything, I'd like her to come and help me clean my mess.


	14. Grass

We lay flat on our backs that night, over the towel we had just used for our midnight picnic. The cloth was so thin that we could feel the grass beneath us and the dampness that the soil spread along the towel.

It had all been a surprise; I had arrived home from the hospital very late to fins the whole thing waiting for me, candles burning on the ground around the improvised table, the food arranged neatly on it, and her, surrounded by the dim light and more beautiful than ever.

She told me it was to celebrate the fact that we were together. Later, after I had made love to her, she said she loved me. She said she wanted to be with me forever.

How was I supposed to know she was lying?


	15. Clay

Credits for the prompt idea go to Vanamo. This one was actually one of my favorite prompts to think about, so thank you! :D I hope you like the result. :)

She molds me as you would a refined piece of pottery: carefully, paying attention to every turn, every shape. She imprints her mark on me, teaching me to be just what she wants me to. And I feel better about myself because of her, because she makes me feel beautiful with every step she leads me to take. She makes me feel like a work of art.

She warms me up, slowly, gradually, and she doesn't even need an oven for that. Her hands running across my body are enough to set me on fire.

At first, she lets into her house and puts me in a highlight place. She introduces me to everyone, and brags about how lucky she is to have me. But after a while, I'm not the new pretty item of decoration anymore, and she moves me to a corner of her life and makes me sit there.

And when I complain about being forgotten, she breaks me, as you would break an ordinary jar that is no longer useful.

Then she sweeps me off her floor and throws me away. And I find myself in a thousand pieces, with nobody to glue me back together.


	16. Avalanche

Credit goes to Pink Jover for the two next prompt ideas. :D

It all comes crumbling down in just a few hours. I arrived here this morning thinking everything would be solved and fine by the end of the day.

Now House is at risk, Amber is dying and... well, and so am I, even if a few years later.

I cry, and I don't know over which of us I'm crying, because it's all too much to stand, too much to think about, and I've held so many things inside for so long that I just can't stand it anymore.

She enters the lab in the middle of my breakdown, but I make no mention to stop. I'm past the point where I can. She barely knows me, but she comes to my aid, and I let her pull me into her arms and hold me and whisper sweet nothings into my ear.

I'm also past the point of being proud.

Yes, peeps, I am trying to make it up to you for the whole 'one hurts the other' feeling in my last batch. lol


	17. Storm

You know that sense of tranquility that comes right after a storm? That slight pride that comes from knowing you've been through it all and survived? That's where I am right now.

Only thing is, I know it's not tranquility; it's numbness, it's pure shock that still hasn't worn out. I'm shocked enough to accept her offer to spend a few days at her place after I leave Robert's.

And it's only when I do that I actually start to feel truly calm. As always, I'm still waiting for the next thunder. But I know she'll be there for me when it comes.


	18. Cavern

Thanks to Vanamo for the prompt idea! :D

I've been locked inside myself since I can remember. Actually, no. There were a few years during my childhood when I remember being... normal. When I'd trust, when I'd tell my parents everything. But then one of them stopped understanding, and the other one was too busy with the first one to care.

So I dug my own cavern, little by little, and walked further and further into it. And there I've stayed, just like in the mythical one, and my perception was that of shadows and imperfections.

Differently from the metaphorical one, though, I didn't leave because I didn't want to; nobody came in because I didn't let them, and everyone eventually gave up.

Except for her. She tried and tried and tried to call me and make me get out of my hole, but I didn't. She asked me to open the gates and let her in, but again, I didn't. But she continued trying, until the iron bars were actually destroyed by her sweet persistence.

She joined me in my cavern and told me about the outside world, about the light and the life and the love. She made me want to see it, feel it for myself. And then she invited me out.

With her, I wasn't afraid to leave.

Inspired by my philosophy class. XD


	19. Rose

I've never done this before, so I don't know what to expect. True, I know the theory, but nothing prepared me for the feeling of her skin against mine. This is the kind of thing you can't learn from manuals.

I've never thought it could be this soft, and still feel this amazingly good. I graze my hands over her arms, her back, her stomach, and it feels like I'm touching rose petals.

And I am sure she is the rose herself, because it's not possible that a human being can smell so good, and be so beautiful, and so wonderful to touch. That kind of combination is reserved for flowers only.

She's also frail and delicate as a flower, and that worries me. But she kisses all my worries away, and makes me forget everything but her.

And I realize what a little prince existing somewhere, sometime, already knows: it might be hard being in love with a rose, but it's worth every second of it. And, just like he did, I decide I'll dedicate my life to taking care of my rose.

This totally dedicated to my baby. Because she gave me the prompt, because I used it in a way I knew she'd like, because the Little Prince is one of our many mutual passions, and, most of all, because she is my rose.


	20. Twister

Thanks for the prompt idea go to **ilive4jeans**! And thanks for the oxytocin information go to Olivia Wilde! XD

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It started as a girls' night out. Just some time together to release the stress and increase our oxytocin levels.

But after a while, her condo seemed a much better place to be than the club, and playing twister while still drunk sounded like the funnest thing ever to do.

So we found ourselves over that damn rug, trying to reach for the colorful circles, even though we could barely walk in a straight line.

Soon, our limbs were tangled and we didn't know which arm or leg belonged to whom anymore, but I had the distinct sensation that it was anatomically impossible for my own arm to be rubbing against my breast like _that_.

And then she moved again, and our faces were so close to each other that we were literally breathing the same air. Then it was my turn to move, but it wasn't for the blue circle that I reached. It was for her lips.


	21. Raindrop

Shout out to Vanamo for this and the next prompt suggestions! :D

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She entered my life slowly, little by little, like that kind of light rain whose drops come far apart from each other in both time and space.

A kind remark here, a question showing interest and worry there, a sweet smile now and then.

It was so subtle, so gradual, that I didn't even realize it. I didn't think anything of the fact that, soon, we were having lunch together almost every day. I barely noticed that we were going out together and visiting each other and talking on the phone all the time. I didn't even pay attention to the fact that we were going on dates and flirting and, oh God, that I was kissing her.

When I fell back to myself, were were moving in together, and I was already completely soaked in her.


	22. Slate

She makes me want to be like a _tabula rasa_. She makes me want to forget everything I've ever lived, all my previous experiences, and be a clean slate over which she can imprint herself.

And when I'm with her, I can actually almost do it: I don't think of the family that couldn't accept any of my choices; I don't think of the man that has died on me; I don't even think of the two men I've tried to kill inside my heart.

But unfortunately, I can't be with her 24/7. Sometimes, like now, I am alone, and the doubts creep back in. I'd like to restart for her, but I don't know if I can. And I don't know if trying is enough.


	23. Corn

Credit goes to Pink Jover for giving me prompts for the tree next drabbles. :)

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Not many people know this fact about me, but I was actually born in a small town in Iowa, and lived there until I was 7. We only moved out because my mom needed better medical care.

When I was little, I loved looking at the corn fields that grew not too far from my house. Something about all that yellow soothed me, calmed me down.

When we moved, I lost that feeling, exactly when I needed it the most. I tried countless times to find a substitute for it, up until this day, but I couldn't.

Until this very morning, when I woke up to her lying on my bed, her hair sprawled on the pillow, the sun rays playing over it. And I realized her hair has the very same tonality of yellow as my beloved corn fields. And the sight of it calms me just the same.


	24. Petal

We go to the park for the day, seizing our first day off together since Spring started. It's a beautiful sunny morning as we pack some snacks, a towel to sit on, and even a Frisbee that Allison surprisingly has.

Reaching our destination, we make ourselves comfortable. A guy passes by selling cotton candy, and I go get us some.

When I return, I see her playing with a daisy, slowly plucking white petal after white petal, until there's only one left, adorning the yellow center.

I approach her silently from behind, leaning down to whisper in her ear: "She loves me".


	25. Houseplant

We've been living together for a few months, after realizing it was nonsense to continue paying two rents, when one of our places was always neglected in favor of the other.

She moved in wit me, and it had all been going perfectly well until last week. Until she decided to get a houseplant.

Then we started arguing, because I did not want a houseplant, her houseplant, in my apartment.

We yelled and shouted because of it. But truly, we both knew it wasn't all about the damn houseplant; it was about us.

It was about her will to have a home, to have stability, to be rooted somewhere. And it was about my inability to really let someone in, to let someone be a permanent part of my life.

The houseplant means she intends to stay. And that scares me.


	26. Leaves

Thanks to Pink Jover for the two next prompt ideas. :)

They say that relationships between people who are in different seasons of their lives are bound to end in misery. They're usually right.

The only problem with that affirmation is that they usually measure the seasons by the age. If that was the case, Allison and I would both be considered to be in Summer.

She really is, but I'm not. I am already in Autumn. Every tremor I feel, every time I drop something, every time I forget something is like a leaf that falls from the tree that represents my life.

And now I understand exactly why they also call it 'Fall'; it's not only because of the actual leaves that come down from the branches. It's because, once they have all fallen down, it means that the real fall, the real decay that is Winter has arrived.

And I wonder just how many leaves I have left.


	27. Fog

I find her on the rooftop of the hospital on an especially foggy morning. I went there expecting to have some time to myself, to breathe and put my mind in order as I admire the white smoke covering the city. Apparently, she's had the same idea.

She doesn't seem to notice my entrance, so I take the chance to observe her from a distance for a moment or two. She's surrounded by the fog, and it only adds to the aura of mystery around her. I have tried figuring her out, as has everyone in this hospital, but I couldn't. So, deciding it won't be from staring at her that I'll do it, I step closer.

Before I have the chance to say anything, before I even reach her, she turns to me and smiles. "Glad you finally decided to join me."

I can't help but blush lightly. So she _did_ notice my presence after all. But when I look into her eyes, I see a friendly glint, and relax. Maybe she's not that different from me after all.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Three more to come later today, when I find the time to type them. Yeah, that's what happens when I write in class. lol


	28. Cherry

Prompt given by Vanamo. Probably not what she was expecting, though. ;)

Food metaphors suck, I know. They suck _almost_ as much as sports metaphors. Still, when I think about her, I can't help remembering my childhood times when I'd see those delicious-looking sundaes on display.

Because she looks absolutely delicious.

I'd see them and I'd keep thinking about them and drooling over them for days. The same way I think about her and drool over her.

And I'd do everything to have one of them; I'd beg my dad, I'd work, I'd promise to do whatever it took me to get it. Yeah, I'd do everything to have her.

And I'm enjoying every second of the present moment, when all my efforts have been crowned and she's here beside me, just as I'd enjoy finally eating my battled sundae, although in much, much larger dimensions.

Because the fact that she's currently lying naked on my bed is just the cherry on top of it, a little detail that, although completing the whole, means nothing compared to the full picture that is the fact that I love her and she loves me back.


	29. Voice

Thanks to Vanamo, again. :)

I've been hearing voices in my head. Not in the creepy, schizophrenic way people think of when they consider that sentence. But it's still a little bit creepy, nonetheless.

Because it's like my mind is totally divided and one side has been yelling at the other and I'm stuck in the middle of the fight. Yeah, it's quite creepy, actually.

What they say? Well, one side tells me to leave her before it's too late; it'll be better for the two of us, and nobody will get seriously hurt. The other, of course, tells me to never, ever let her go; being apart from each other would be too painful for us both already.

I try to shut them out, but, since they're inside my head, that's a bit hard to do. I might be going crazy for real, and it's _very_ creepy.

So I decide to ignore them, and follow a third voice instead. Don't worry, this one doesn't come from my mind. It's her voice, and it's asking me to hold her closer.

This is the voice that I not only hear, but truly listen to, and comply.


	30. Ivy

Thanks to Pink Jover for the prompt suggestion!

And thank you, Pippin, for the review, since I can't thank you via PM. :)

My family on my father's side is Irish. Not only Irish, but Celt. So I grew up surrounded by all those symbolisms and tales and myths about objects, plants, trees...

That's why, when choosing something to give her for our fifth wedding anniversary, I end up picking a pair of golden earrings shaped like ivy leaves.

Ivy represents union, the interlacing of souls, a promise of growth even in times of trial. It's exactly what she means to me.

It also represents undying feelings, because ivy is virtually everlasting. It's my promise to her: that my love will remain being all completely hers, even long after I myself have died.


	31. Birthmark

So, I know I've been away for a while. I was busy either trying to update my 3 long stories, or taking care of my gf, or solving things at home... yeah, life's been a bitch to me recently. Still, I'm finding that drabbles are the only thing I can write when my head is the way it is right now. So what you get is a new set. :D

I still have at least a dozen prompt ideas to cover, thanks to you guys' amazing response, so it might take a while... But I'm working on them. :)

Btw... Thank you Pink Jover for the idea for this one!

She has a birthmark. It's a red-brown blotch, in the shape of a bean, and about twice the size of one. It's located on her upper left thigh.

She inherited it from her mother. She says every woman on her maternal grandmother's side of the family has it.

And she absolutely, completely, undeniably hates it. I think it's kinda cute, if you ask me.

I have a birthmark too. Just like her, I inherited it from my mother, who inherited it from her mother, and so on.

However, mine is one you cannot see. One could scan every inch of my body, and still wouldn't find it. My birthmark is invisible on my skin.

But it's visible on my genes. My birthmark is one that will kill me.

I would absolutely, completely, undeniably love to have hers instead.


	32. Breath I

Thank you, my dear friend Vanamo, for suggesting this prompt. :) I made it a happy one as you wanted. Still, you might have a surprise once you check the next drabble. ;)

I've always been an early riser. I used to hate it, 'cause it would always mean I'd be alone, with nothing to do to, while everyone else was still asleep. But now, I've found the joy in it.

Every weekend, every day off we have, I'll wake up long before she does. And I'll remain in bed beside her. I'll enjoy every wonderful sensation of those moments. Her arm around my waist. Her body pressed against mine from behind. And my absolute favorite: the warmth on the nape of my neck, together with a slight tingling, every time she exhales.

Every breath she intakes and releases reminds me that she is there. With me. That I'm not alone.

And when she finally starts to stir and I feel her breaths turning into sighs, I am awake and ready to welcome her into a new day.


	33. Breath II

Well, thing is, although I made the last one happy, I couldn't resist writing a sad one for it as well. As I said, so much dramatic potential... lol So *gasp* you get two drabbles for one single prompt!

For over ten years, she's been my reason to live. She's been the reason why I woke up and forced myself out of bed in the morning. She's been the reason why I made myself eat something, even after I could barely swallow. She's been the reason why I never killed myself, even after my symptoms became ever-present.

So, as I lie here on this cold hospital bed, in this cold hospital room, as I'm conscious of the fact that these are my final moments of lucidity before I leave this world and her for good... I can't help but think that it totally fits that my last thoughts are for her. My last prayer is for her.

My very last breath is for her, as I gather all the little strength I have left to look into the eyes of the woman I love and whisper _'I love you'_. When I exhale, I know that's it. Everything goes black, and I just hope I'll dream of her for the whole eternity.


	34. Pastel

Another one of Vanamo's prompt ideas. :)

It was just dinner. Not even a nice dinner in a fancy place, but more to a late night snack in a lame diner close to the hospital after what seemed like a never-ending shift.

I was actually intending to grab something to eat in the cafeteria, before going home and crashing. But she convinced me I wasn't going to find anything better than day-old bagels, and invited me to go somewhere else with her.

It was completely spontaneous and unpretentious and intended to be short and quick. But then we sat down with our pancakes and started talking.

And, when we looker through the window, we could see the pastel colors outside the diner, showing us the day that was coming up. A new day indeed.


	35. Root

Both **Pink Jover** and **littlepetra** suggested this prompt. Here you go, girls! :)

They say that a plant or tree, to be stable and strong, needs to be deeply rooted to the ground. It needs to have that basis that connects it to the soil, those channels that bring life into it. It needs to have a place in the earth where it belong.

Not that I'm comparing myself to a plant, but I guess that why I've never been stable, much less strong. I never felt connected to anything or anyone. I never learnt how to, since the ones who were supposed to teach me couldn't. I was never taught how to receive life, or even love, for that matter, from other people. I never found my place in this world.

Until she came along and showed me that, apparently, my roots were up in the air, trying to do the impossible and grab onto nothing. Because she turned me upside down but, instead of feeling dislodged, I feel strangely in place, abnormally rooted to where I am: right beside her.


	36. Salt

Thank you, **littlepetra **for the prompt idea!

My mom told me a story once, when I was little, about a king who tried to measure his daughters' love for him by what they compared him to. One said he was like the sun that gave them life and heat. The other said he was like the moon than guided their steps at night. The youngest compared him to salt, and was sent away from him, because she clearly did not love him enough. Of course, in the fable, he later learnt how much difference salt makes in a meal.

I hadn't thought about this story for many years, but now I find that it's been crossing my mind quite frequently. Especially when I'm with her.

Because she makes me see that, for all my life, I settled simply for surviving. But in the end, it's not enough to have just what you need to eat and dress and keep a healthy body temperature and see where you walk.

What really matters, at the end of the day, is what allows you to _taste_ your life, what makes it really good to live. And, whereas she might not be my sun or my moon, she's definitely my salt.


	37. Shooting Star

Prompt idea by **littlepetra**. :)

Daniel loved to go out at night to watch the stars. It was one of his favorite things to do when he was still fine enough to be outdoors. So after he left me, for months and months I'd do it every single night.

I'd drive until I was far enough from the city, to our favorite spot, and just lie on the roof of the car looking up to the sky. I used to imagine that he was up there, looking down at me.

I remember one night, after an especially hard day, when I was so sad and missed him so much that I couldn't help but crying. That night, I saw a shooting star through my tears. And I wished that, someday, I'd heal from that pain. I wished I would find someone I could love as much as I loved him, someone who'd take care of the wounds his death inflicted on me.

Now, I wish I had never asked for that. Because my wish did come true. But the person who helped my heart to heal is about to break it the very same way he did.


	38. Hands

Shout out to **Vanamo** for suggesting the prompt. :D

It's not a grand gesture, a romantic outburst, or anything significant. It's what most people would think completely unimportant, and quickly pass by. It's what might even go by unnoticed sometimes. But not for me. For me, it means the world.

The fact that she's holding my hand, I mean. And not because it means she's admitting to everyone that we're together. No, we're already past that phase. Everyone knows about us already, and it's been years since we've last heard a surprised comment about it.

She's holding my hand because it won't stop trembling. As she covers it with hers, it stays a bit more steady. Plus, I can't see the tremor if I can't see my hand. She uses both her hands to hold mine securely, so that, when I look down, all I'll see is her beauty and delicacy and thoughtfulness.

She holds my hand, and in that simple gesture I can see both our past and our future. I can see she'll be there to hold me when my hands are not the only thing shaking.


	39. Pineapple

Very interesting prompt suggested by **Pink Jover**. I didn't think I'd be able to think of something for it, but I ended up even liking the result. So, thanks a lot! :D

I find pineapples to be the most interesting fruit. They have those defense mechanisms, all those spikes that prickle and scratch whomever tries to get too close. Just from looking, one would think they'd be hard and sour inside.

But they're actually soft and sweet and easy to cut. That's probably the exact reason why evolution let them along that road: if they were easy to get to, they'd be dizimated. Only the ones who had that tough exterior survived.

That's also the reason why she's like that: secretive, cold, pushing everyone away (not caring if she scrapes them in the process), fearing anyone who tries to get too close. She wouldn't have survived, had she acted otherwise throughout her life.

Because, on the inside, she's just this sweet, gentle, sensitive little girl who needs to be loved but who's so easily hurt (and who's been so hurt already) that she just can't take it anymore.

And I'm just so glad I was allowed to see that, to see beyond what she displays to everyone else. Because, now that I know it, I'll try my hardest to show her that not everyone will want to destroy her. Someone might just want to love her.


	40. Skin

Thanks to **Pink Jover **again for the prompt!

We stumble into my apartment, lips connected, libs tangled. I don't even wait until we're in the bedroom to start undressing her. I want her clothes off. I want, I need to feel her skin on mine. I need her warmth and her softness and the electric tingling I get when our bodies touch.

I lie on top of her and let my hands travel up and down her torso. Then I make my way down, kissing every inch of skin I can find, pausing now and then just to take in her smell, that unmistakable smell that is only hers, that she has even when she's not using any perfume.

I savor every second of it, every sensation it brings me. I try to take her all in. Maybe, if I do it right, if I do it enough, I'll have her under my skin.


	41. Smoke

Another prompt suggested by **Vanamo**. :)

Even in the middle of my self-destructive downspiral, one thing I've never done was smoke. Not in my teen years, not in college, never. It just never appealed to me. Only the smell of it was already enough to make me want to leave the room. Plus, even if I could stand it, the smoke would be terrible for my asthma.

Still, I can't help but enjoying to watch her smoke. There's something about the way she holds the cigarette between her index and middle fingers and takes it up to her mouth, something about the way her lips close around it, something about the way she blows the smoke out that makes the action look incredibly sexy.

And it makes _her _look even sexier as well, because it shows she's not perfect. She has one flaw, one sexy little flaw that makes me finally believe she's real, and consequently, even better.

Every time she retrieves a cigarette from her purse and lights it, I feel like I can't take my eyes away from it. From her. And I know that I want it. I want her.


	42. Dust

Thanks to **Vanamo **for suggesting this amazing prompt to write. :)

I retrieve the wooden box from the bottom of my closet. It's huge and heavy with everything inside it, so it takes me awhile to get it out.

I've done this once a year, for the last six years. I spend the next 364 days trying not to think about it. About her.

I carefully wipe the dust accumulated on it during the last year with an old rag. It was supposed to be well closed, to keep the dust outside, but every year, I find that it has somehow managed to fins its way into the box.

I open it, prepared to clean its contents one by one. They're all I have left from her. All that will help me keep her memory alive.

Three picture albums: one of her childhood, one of the trips she made in her youth, one with pictures of us. The cards, notes and letters she wrote to me special occasions, when she could still write. Her favorite hoodie, carefully wrapped in a transparent plastic bag. Her favorite pair of earrings. A half-empty bottle of her perfume. Our wedding rings.

I clean the dust off of all that, slowly, taking my time to look and admire each object, each picture, to bring back the memories related to each thing, to cry over each memory.

She's been gone for six years today. But every year, on this date, for a few hours, she's back here with me.


	43. Blood

**A/N: **No, this is not a mirage. I'm really updating this again. I've been feeling like writing, but nothing too long... this sounded like a good thing to go back to, considering you girls have given me so many prompts, a dozen or so of which still waiting to be written. So... yeah. I hope you're all still with me. :) And please forgive me for my rustiness, I haven't written any fiction for 10 months now, and no drabbles for over a year...

Also, thanks to **littlepetra** for the two next prompt ideas. :)

**TRIGGER WARNING!**

* * *

You're not here anymore, and I just don't know what to do with myself. I doubt I'm even alive, but the pain I'm feeling reminds me that yes, I am. The pain which is actually the only thing I can feel ever since you left. No hunger, no thirst, no tiredness, nothing... just pain.

There's no one else here either. No one to keep me company or help me cope or keep me sane... no one. I don't have anything or anyone to turn to, to make this stop.

It makes me think of my teenage years, when I was also in so much pain, and left to cope with it all alone. Except then, I did have something to turn to...

Slowly, I get up from the couch, head to the kitchen, open the drawer under the counter where the sharpest knives are, and carefully choose the best one. When I don't have anything else, I can still have this, always. It's what's left when everything else is nothing.


	44. Amber

It was just a silly fling. Something quick and meaningless and done with the only objective of distracting the two of us from the madness that came with House's new-team-forming games. There were no feelings involved, and only the attraction that comes with complete antagonism.

It had absolutely nothing to do with the deep, meaningful, committed relationship that I had started with her quite a few months ago. Much less with the extremely powerful feelings we have for each other.

Still, now that, due to a slip of the tongue, I accidentally mentioned that I slept with Amber a few times almost a year ago, I know I will never, ever hear the end of this. God help me.


	45. Fur

Thanks to **Pink Jover **for the next 2 prompt ideas!

It's Sunday morning and I'm lying on the couch watching TV while I absent-mindedly stroke the little creature sprawled across my ribs. It's the closest to physical affection I've had sicne she left... but it's already something.

It was Wilson's idea. After all, he does have quite a lot of experience with failed relationships... marriages even. He assured me a pet would make me feel quite less lonely, but I was skeptical. In the end, he just showed up one evening with a little ball of gray fur and all the supplied a first-time cat owner should need.

I seriously considered just taking it all back right away. But before I could, the thing started nibbling on my finger and purring and looking at me with those huge green eyes... and for some reason, I couldn't.

Now, around a month later, I'm very glad about that. On one hand, I know having a cat won't solve all my problems or even fulfill me... but on the other, I have to admit she's adorable. And, as Wilson has assured me, does make me a tiny bit less lonely.

And what's best: I'll never have to worry about her deciding she doesn't love me anymore, packing her toy rats and her bed, and leaving.


	46. Moss

I cannot honestly remember the last time my face has stayed completely dry for a whole day. I know for sure it's been over a year, though. You'd think I'd have run out of tears at this point, right? But no, not yet...

I'm starting to think up uses I might have for all that crying. Like, maybe bottling the tears and selling them to an avid Harry Potter fan as a potion ingredient? Or collecting them all and finding a way to remove the salt from them, so that I wouldn't have to buy it anymore, and so that I'd have potable water enough to wash my dishes and save the environment?

Or perhaps try some weird face-decor by using the dampness to start my own moss plantation on my cheeks? I could probably pass for a Capitol citizen then, maybe they'd even let me work in one of the movies as an extra... I would say that's unusual enough to be considered hype in Panem.

I'm pretty sure I'm going slightly insane. Probably from dehydration.

I'm also pretty sure I've been reading way too many teen fantasy books.


End file.
